I did a bad job keeping this note updated last year, but hopefully I'll do a better job for 2009! I've already been reading and writing more, so hooray for that!

( 50 Books )


( Fic )

i know i haven't gotten to responding to comments yet, but thank you everyone for all the lovely birthday wishes!

i really did have a wonderful day. i had to work for half of it, had a relaxing afternoon, and then the boyfriend took me out to a really classy restaurant by the capitol, and we hung out after that at his place. i've gotten him hooked on fringe! hee.

but ugh, you guys.

as much as it depresses me, i'm almost relieved i'm staying here over thanksgiving, because the work is starting to get ridiculous and my to-do list for the rest of the month just keeps on expanding.

here is an updated version:

i. solidify and memorize two pieces for juries dec 17th. goal: have at least one piece memorized by the end of the thanksgiving holiday.
ii. fifteen page research paper for music in the united states due dec 20th. i'm about to check out a bunch of books, and the goal is to at least skim them all over the holiday so i can meet with the professor again right after break to go over my thesis.
iii. four page paper for the same class due before the end of the semester, though the topic overlaps that of my paper, so i'm actually least worried about it.
iv. solidify all four movements of the brahms trio for departmentals on dec 12th. the fourth movement is really hard and i can only barely play through it.
v. research and make outline for early keyboard literature presentation, due in about two and a half weeks. at least i already have a topic and it's only around fifteen minutes, but that's almost harder to prepare for.

i think that's everything?

i also want to finish at least two exchange pieces, or at least have two drafts by the end of the holiday.

if i'm not really around that much, i apologize! i know i've been a lousy friend lately. ):

Yay, it's my birthday! *throws up confetti*

I think this is the first time in a while where I really *can* feel one year older.

So many huge, life-changing things have happened this year--auditions, getting in to graduate school, graduating from college, my first real job, moving, my first serious relationship--and I do actually feel removed from the person I was just a year ago.

I'm not even afraid to be getting older.

I'm so ready to be 23!!!

seriously, where has the weekend gone?

i feel like it's just started, when really it's almost over...

but holly, a close friend of mine from high school who i haven't seen in about a year, was in town this weekend, and it was so wonderful to have her here. and she got to meet the boyfriend--the first close friend of mine to have done so--and she liked him and approved! i believe she plans to tell my other high school friends all about him. LOL.

and tomorrow, i'm turning 23! huzzah. i have to actively remind myself of that, or else i'd probably forget. heh.

the only downside of the day is that i have these two four page papers due tomorrow (that i still need to fine-tune...), or else i would be skipping my 8:50 class to sleep in. i also have a lesson on tuesday at 9am, so i have to do some practicing as well.

but i know that mike has some sort of plan for the evening--i think he's taking me out to a fancy restaurant--and then we'll probably hang out some after that, so at least i've got the evening to look forward to!! and i have a gift from my parents waiting to be unwrapped... it got here on friday, and it's been tempting, but sometimes i actually do have self-control! hee.

so now i suppose i should get back to work...

hope you all have had lovely weekends! ♥!

or, why i am starting to panic. i had a bit of a reality check yesterday because i realized how close the end of term was. of course, we still have a little over a month, but...that's not really a lot of time. and all the deadlines i have coming up are around the same time, too.

real life:

i. get two pieces memorized and ready for juries december 17th. and... because of that competition, i'm not even CLOSE, you guys. and both of my pieces are hard and long, about ten minutes each. (chopin's 4th ballade and bach's chromatic fantasie and fugue).
ii. 10-15 page paper due december 20th for music in the united states. i at least have a vague idea for my thesis--something related to charles ives. but that's all i've got so far.
iii. presentation/project for early keyboard literature, which will be due the last day of class...which is in just a few weeks.
iv. get two movements of the brahms trio ready, because we're playing in the chamber music recital. which is the second week of december.

fandom:

i. dmhgficexchange
ii. hp_holidaygen
iii. camelotsolstice
iv. and i should probably start working on my dracobigbang...

at least i'll have thanksgiving to get a lot of fandom related stuff done--because i'm too poor and my family has no money coming in right now, i'm stuck here for the holiday, and although it's going to be depressing, at least i'll be able to get work done?

*dies*

OMG, you guys.

i've done it.

i am so freaking excited about this fic... i just hope i can maintain that so i can finish this time!

who else is signing up???

let's squee together!!!


*points to icon* i think draco might be freaking out a little bit about what we're all planning on doing to him... hee.

( I want it to be Saturday already! )

in other news, things are going to be slightly nuts until next weekend.

i have two papers to finish writing, lots and lots of practicing to do, fics to start, and holly, one of my friends from high school, is coming to visit me over my birthday weekend!

i am super excited to have her here (and introduce her to the boyfriend!), but this means i have to work even harder this week to get everything done.

AND THEN I TURN 23 ON THE SIXTEENTH!

WOOT.

so this means i will probably take a small hiatus until then, aside from some drabbles i'll have to write.

hope you all have been doing well!

*smooches*

i'm sorry i've been so absent, you guys!

ugh, academics are kicking me in the ass. i'm not even taking that many classes--two!--but because i spent so much of october focused on beethoven, i've been neglecting my long term assignments, and now i have two four page papers (and still need to read and research) due in two weeks.

as much as i love school, sometimes it can just be annoying!

but, anyway--let's talk about more fun things!

i'm afraid i might also be losing sight of exchange deadlines (haven't really started anything yet... oops?), but that aside, i'm trying in a couple of my fics to break out of my safety zone a little bit, which is angst and pieces that are driven more by the characters than the plot.

i'm attempting to write at least one plotty adventure story, but as i've only written one other (and that was forever ago, and it was like pulling teeth!), and i was wondering if those among you who feel comfortable with adventure stories have any words of wisdom for me. some of it on my part may be a lack of creativity for complex story lines, and that i've seen so many of my ideas already executed far better than i probably could.

breaking out of comfort zones is hard, but i'd really like to try, even if the finished product does end up a little rough around the edges as a result!

so i guess what i'd really like to know is if anyone would be willing, at this early stage, to help me out with my dmhgficexchange story... i feel pretty confident in my overall grasp of grammar, so what i'd really like is someone to bounce ideas off of, and just an extra pair of eyes.

anyone?

i'd gladly return the favor, now or at a later date! :D

hope everyone's having a fun halloween!

madison goes absolutely insane, and at the moment i'm hiding out in my apartment, though i can still hear the crazy from inside. apparently state street's freak fest draws huge crowds from all over, so you can bet i'm not going to be there.

spent most of my afternoon with the grandmother, and the boyfriend is currently having guy time over at someone's house, so i'm just waiting to hear from him.

i've had kind of a blah day overall--lost my ID card so i can't get into the practice rooms until i get a new one, which will cost $25, and i'm bummed because that's at least three meals (i've found that, as a graduate student, i think of the little money i have in terms of how it will feed me).

i'm still writing gifts for luvlikerocketz, and my inbox is still closed. so either people are still writing or hardly anyone claimed my prompts... oh well, it's still a bunch of fun to read and view other people's creations!

oh... and there goes the first siren of the night... i'm sure there will be loads more.

can someone please explain to me how it's almost november already?

like, seriously.

this month just FLEW by.

AND the last couple weeks have been absolutely insane--i competed in the university's concerto competition two days ago which has just completely taken over my life. it was more about the experience than winning (and i also haven't performed since early MAY, so i really wanted to get back into that mindset), and even though i didn't make it on to the next round, i was pleased with my overall performance. i was able to have more fun than i probably ever have in that kind of high-stress competition environment, and my performance anxiety didn't get the best of me, which was a real comfort to me. i think i've come a long way, even in the past year, and it was so great to see that.

i honestly don't know what i would've done without the boyfriend this month--he's been my sanity, and it's been more wonderful than i can say to have someone who i know will always be there to support me. i think it would've been a very lonely month without him, and i feel so fortunate and lucky to have met him. i'm not really used to depending so much on another person (outside of my parents), and if i think about it too much, i'm almost frightened by how much i've come to rely on him. wonderful and scary at the same time!

but anyway, because of all the crazy, i've somewhat been neglecting exchange deadlines, and even academic work.

i have two short papers to write by november 16th.

and i need to write four short prompts for luvlikerocketz... this afternoon.

hah.

*hurries off to write like mad*

so a week and a half before my competition, my immune system decides to crash.

thankfully, my big history midterm was this morning (which i think went okay!) and i have no academic work to get done tonight, so though i'd much rather be spending time with the boyfriend, i am lying about in bed.

i really don't have time for this shit.

i have a lesson early tomorrow morning, and should be practicing right now.

i'm also supposed to play my concerto in masterclass on wednesday afternoon, when i'll most likely be feeling the crappiest.

earlier i'd been joking about this happening (wouldn't it be my luck if...)--and what do you know.

if this turns out to be the flu, i have no idea what i'm going to do.

FML.

ugh, i've been doing horribly at dramione_ldws so far.

it could be because the muse is just rusty... writing anything has been such a struggle lately.

but there's more than that too.

i think a lot of it for me is that i have a hard time writing a moment without giving it any context. when i write fics, draco and hermione are never together right away, and it feels slightly unnatural to have them already in a relationship without establishing how they *got* there.

so i'm really thankful the format is different this round and there aren't weekly eliminations, because i know this is something i need to improve.

advice, anyone? :/

OMG.

I need to do a huge Merlin post at some point--I began one, but it's going to be involved and I need to get the squeeing and attempted profound thoughts all organized somehow.

But I finally saw this weekend's episode, and all I can say is that it has been my favorite of the season!

BUT OMG, YOU GUYS.

IT FLURRIED YESTERDAY.

*FLURRIED*.

after four years in north carolina, my northern blood is just about gone.

outlook of my surviving madison winters definitely does NOT look good!

(and i'm sorry i've been slow responding to comments/commenting in general--midterms are approaching, and real life is just a bit out of control at the moment. i hope to be more present in a week or so! hope you guys have been doing well!)

OMG.

I HAVE FINALLY DISCOVERED GLEE.

hooray, i've now gotten all my prompts for the fests i've joined this season and love, love, LOVE them!

i'm participating in a wonderful variety of exchanges, though mainly harry potter (and one for merlin, yay!): dmhgficexchange, hp_holidaygen, and camelotsolstice. and after lurking around dramione_ldws this morning, i managed to claim a spot! WOOT. and inboxes for luvlikerocketz opened today, and i've just gone and claimed my prompts. i'm pleased to have drabble writing mixed in with the longer stuff as a break (i'm thinking my entries for the big three will all be on the lengthy side) and it will be good for my Muse. and then there will of course be dracobigbang in november.

i'm hoping i can do all this, because the boyfriend and fandom are the only things keeping me sane right now. and i desperately want to remain an active member of fandom, especially since writing is really the only way i contribute.

today was one of those days where i woke up and everything seemed overwhelming and impossible. now that i'm well into the semester, the work is piling on, my days are getting longer, and at the end of most i'm left with this feeling of disappointment. i'm frustrated because i can't really expand the day at all (i'm getting up at 7 and going to bed at 11:30ish), but a good day of practice for me is five hours, which is still unacceptable. but i'm pretty much busy from the moment i get up to the moment i go to bed, i have no time for a social life (except for mike), and i see friends in class or if i run into them at the music building.

on top of everything, i've entered myself in the concerto competition, which happens at the end of this month.

but i love my work and i love being here, and i love being challenged.

i just want to give everything %100 without sacrificing myself in the process.

so my computer started kernel panicking again a couple days ago, and i was freaking out because surviving without a computer in grad school??? impossible. but when this happened to my old machine, apple technicians solved it by reinstalling my operating system, and since i actually had my disks and an external hard drive this time, i was able to fix it myself! i hope, anyway. but really, technology hates me. when the kernel panic screen of death appeared again, all i was able to do was stare at it and mutter, "holy crap, you have GOT to be kidding me."

haha.

but after spending an entire afternoon dealing with it, it's all set to go, just in time for me to watch the new Merlin episode! yay. :)

went to a concert at the school last night with my boyfriend (gosh, that still feels weird to say!) and he went even after i warned him my grandmother would be there. he said he was a little intimidated, but he thought she was funny. hee. good sign, yes?

i certainly thought so!

okay, so, i'm writing a merlin pinch-hit for the gen_ficathon (the prompt was just too much fun to pass up) and i was wondering if fellow merlin lovers (or anyone, really!) could help me try to brainstorm mythical beasts.

i'm looking for one that hasn't been on the show, and i'd like it to actually be a "real" mythological creature.

i'll do some research on my own, but just thought i'd ask to see if anyone had some neat ideas!

thanks, guys! :D

and speaking of merlin, i plan to spend my lunch break watching the new episode.

OH THE EXCITEMENT!

things i am excited about right now:

i. FRINGE (tonight!!!! *squee*)
ii. MERLIN (even though i am an american... what are the chances it will be up on hulu or somewhere the next day?)
iii. the hermionebigbang going live on saturday--YES! i even ended up writing something for the phase 1 stage...not my best work, but at least i contributed *some*thing?
iv. upcoming fic exchanges to which i should hopefully be getting assignments soon
v. good lessons!
vi. THE BOY, who is last only because i feel like that's all i've really been talking about lately... i'm ridiculously twitterpated. we've been seeing each other basically every other night or so, and we do everything from eating to studying, because we can actually work well together too. it's amazing. ♥.

LET'S SQUEE TOGETHER OVER EXCITING, SHINY, FANDOMY THINGS!!!

the only negative part of this week has been that i haven't been sleeping all that well, and it's finally caught up to me, because my body feels a little sore and strained today. so because i can, i'm trying to take it easy for the afternoon, which shouldn't be too hard since i've already done my reading for tomorrow and i had a great lesson this morning. so the guilt factor is somewhat reduced. i had to get up at 7am though (which i actually do fairly regularly now) so i don't feel all that bad. :D